recession jokes

Sodahead

We recently got an email from a friend that had been forwarded by and to a long chain of people we didn’t know. We were happy that it didn’t threaten us with years of bad luck if we didn’t pass it on. And we were delighted that its silly recession jokes actually made us LAUGH. When so many people we know have been hit HARD by the recession and are still feeling it – some have lost their homes, others their careers – and everybody has $$ on their mind, it is amazing that people think up jokes and laugh about it, ANYWAY. Who was the mastermind of this cheery anonymous email that somehow made us feel better? Where did it get going?

The Recession has hit Everybody…

I  got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having  sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with  rolls  of pennies while she danced.

I  saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and  ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A  truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into  Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share  a room.

The Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas is now managed by  Somali  pirates.

Congress  says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally…

I  was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement  funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

….And how many people has it made laugh? And how many people did it offend?

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9 Responses to recession jokes

  1. hk 06.22.2011 at 10:22pm #

    Actually, I usually really enjoy your blog, but I find many of these offensive or racist. :(

  2. Sally 06.22.2011 at 10:49pm #

    Yeah, some are definitely, totally politically incorrect and racist and sexist, but seemed to us to cover such a gamut that they sort of cancelled each other out. Taken as a whole, it’s kind of loopy and old-fashioned, and so weird that someone would put them all together, we found it funny and curious, like there was some ancient comedian dreaming them up.

    And we really didn’t/don’t mean to offend.

  3. Elizabeth 06.22.2011 at 11:39pm #

    I have to say that I laughed the hardest at the one about the suicide bomber. My opinion (and I’m someone who’s no stranger to hardship as I parent a child with severe disabilities) is that humor and laughter sustain one as nothing else can –

  4. George 06.23.2011 at 12:55am #

    racist? really? which one?

    Learn to relax folks.

  5. cindy 06.23.2011 at 8:04am #

    the jokes were funny. plain and simple. sometimes you have to stop being PC and just acknowledge what is going on around you. That’s when the healing begins. Humor makes people uncomfortable. that’s why it’s humor. Either they will laugh or they will squirm. see also: richard prior

  6. Cathy 06.23.2011 at 8:45am #

    Thanks for starting my day off with laughter!

  7. jody 06.24.2011 at 11:23am #

    hysterical!!!

    funny/not funny – two sides of the same coin???

    am always grateful for the comic relief and the ability to go there…

    so love the improvised life and all its room to breathe!! xo

  8. oh dear 06.25.2011 at 2:28pm #

    meh, overall falls to the offensive side of the line for more than one reason. Sorry you found it so amusing.

  9. New Yorker 07.13.2012 at 1:17pm #

    THIS WAS EPICLY FUN!

    Racist? Really? how? These are jokes ok… Keep ‘em coming they are “wosome”!

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