Saying NO to Holiday Gift-Giving Guilt (Mira Keras)

As a mother I feel intense pressure to dazzle my daughter with a hundred candy-colored gifts beneath the Christmas tree, and to prove my devotion to my family by showering them with expensive hand-selected gifts. Despite all pressures and temptations, this year, I will not.

I will not be buying any Christmas gifts this year. I may buy supplies for making Christmas gifts, but I will not be approaching Christmas in the way I am usually so tempted to do. In years past, I have run up beyond-my-means-bills trying to prove to my sisters/mother/husband that my love for them is real and deep —Tom Ford or genuine leather or iPad deep. None of those things can express my love for them because love is more complex than 16 GB of ram.

Sally Schneider

Sally Schneider

Here is what scares me: feeling embarrassment should I receive a gift and not have an “adequate” one to hand back.

Here’s why that’s unimportant: Gifting isn’t a competition. I trust that should anyone give a gift to me, it isn’t to get one of equal or greater value handed back to them. 

So I am going to sew some small personal treasures for my daughter, like a midnight blue satin dress with stars and the hand-felted animals she loves.

Sally Schneider

Sally Schneider

I will write well-wishes in my favorite books and send them off to friends. I’m going tape in an envelope pocket for the recipient to add personal notes, a cool practice Sally discovered in a second-hand kids book

Sally Schneider

Sally Schneider

Sally Schneider

Sally Schneider

Sally Schneider

Sally Schneider

 

While crafting, I will NOT run myself ragged just to have a gift in hand, especially if it means the gift will only come out disappointing and take up unnecessary space. I’ll wait until I get it done.

The holidays are for saying I love you. Even a simple back rub or baked treat can do that.

Sally Schneider

Sally Schneider

Mira Keras

 

5 Responses to Saying NO to Holiday Gift-Giving Guilt (Mira Keras)

  1. sahana 12.20.2016 at 8:03am #

    Thank you .

    and happy holidays ,

    sahana

  2. sahana 12.20.2016 at 8:06am #

    oh and these hand-felted animals and star are lovely

  3. Pam 12.20.2016 at 8:26am #

    The crafts! Oh wow!
    How…? Where…? Please? After the season is over? (LOL!)

  4. Niheala 12.20.2016 at 8:52am #

    Lovely animals and sentiment.
    Happy Holidays to you Sally and Mira and all good things for the New Year!
    I love you in my in box every morning.

  5. Rachel 12.21.2016 at 6:11pm #

    Yes, yes, yes. And thank you. My father died five years ago in December and what I treasure most, besides my memories of him, the books he wrote, and the photos, is the ephemera of his life, the stuff that lingered on his bureau, or on his desk, his battered collection of obscure mystery novels, his old wooden cigar box – because it reminds me of who he was in his habits, at home, in private. When I saw the beautiful felted animals you make your daughter, it immediately reminded me of my father’s things, and my intense attachment to them. As someone who has both given and received many exquisite, expensive objects, I can tell you with absolute certainty there is nothing that your daughter will ever love more than the things you make her with love and intention. And I am sure that the others in your life feel the same way.

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