Annals of Bad Design: Strangely Phallic Coffee Table

Although we are huge fans of using tree parts and the natural world as furnishings, we were stunned to see this wildly impractical coffee table made of what appears to be bundled branches or driftwood of some sort. Is it just us or do they have strangely phallic shapes? (Not that we don’t like phallic shapes but…er..seems a bit out-of-place in this setting.)

How is this table meant to work, we wondered, when we want to set our drink down on the table, or something small like dice or coins? Are we given little platforms? And if we want to lounge and put our feet up, how comfortable will it be?

Here’s a closer look:

phallic coffee tableoxdesignstudio WestVan-18

Are we missing something here?

via Style Files

10 Responses to Annals of Bad Design: Strangely Phallic Coffee Table

  1. Susan 03.27.2015 at 12:19pm #

    Wow! Even if I un-imagine anything phallic about this table it is WAY too organic for me. And I like organic! What, I wonder, was someone thinking?

  2. Susan 03.27.2015 at 1:21pm #

    If my eyes don’t deceive me those may be pebbles trapped inside the phallic barrier, large size gravel
    perhaps overlaid on a sheet of plywood?

    In any event, it’s a designer’s wet dream, for sure.

  3. Laura Handler 03.27.2015 at 1:38pm #

    It’s an earring eater.

    Can you imaging dropping one it that?

    Or how about spilling something nice and sticky in it like….cocoa…or……..fondue?


  4. kimithy 03.27.2015 at 3:01pm #

    Oy. I feel the same way about the utility of ottomans-as-coffee-table – since you have to have a tray on it in order to put down a drink. But at least those are comfortable to put your feet on…

    I’m not getting “phallic” from this one, which is odd, as I tend to think everything looks like “boob/peen” (as a friend puts it).

  5. Sally 03.27.2015 at 5:16pm #

    Cocoa…or…fondue!!!!! Yeah, imagine.

  6. Sally 03.27.2015 at 5:17pm #

    In Finland, I saw a beautiful and very clever ottoman/coffee table that changed my view of those a bit. I’ll see if I can dig out a photo.

  7. Kim Sykes 03.27.2015 at 8:27pm #

    I don’t like how the table massing appears to defy gravity. I long to see some legs that keep it grounded at least. Not a fan.

  8. Manley Mann 03.28.2015 at 10:36am #

    Looks good to me.

  9. G 05.23.2016 at 1:29am #

    Nothing a glass top wont fix (just have the top evened out a bit).. i think it’s creative and definitely a show piece in a living room. I like it.

  10. Sally Schneider 05.23.2016 at 12:39pm #

    hmmm. good thinking, though glass still has a phallic view (maybe that’s a good thing (:
    I think I’d go with a wood top, and have the base be more subtle.

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